Anna Shoemaker on Embracing the Embarrassing

Anna Shoemaker just released exclusive pages from her diary. JK. Her song “Everything is Fine” off her debut album Everything is Fine (I’m Only on Fire) was released today. Last week, we chatted about getting through your twenties, the move from poetry to songwriting, and holding space for your emotions. 

By Alyssa Goldberg

Growing up, Anna Shoemaker didn’t always make room for her emotions, feeling like she had to shrink herself to avoid being “too much.” Now, the once shy, Brooklyn-based indie-pop artist is done holding back. “Everything is Fine,” the brand-new single off her upcoming album Everything is Fine (I’m Only on Fire), may as well be a glimpse into her diary, given the reflective approach she takes to her music. 

For Shoemaker, music is an outlet to “speak to someone without having to speak to them.” She draws her inspiration from childhood staples like Sheryl Crow, Alanis Morissette, and Lauryn Hill, wanting to emulate their ability to sing about their feelings fearlessly. “I love how they were calling people out or talking about their feelings, but they could say whatever they wanted because it sounded nice. I liked being able to say like ‘fuck you’ to someone or ‘I love you’ without having to say it directly,” she shared. 

Creating music allows her to reflect on past relationships and look at them from a new perspective, molded through time and maturity. Looking back on the songs she wrote in her last relationship, she admits that though she thought her feelings were good, her needs were unmet, and she simply wasn’t happy. On reflecting, Shoemaker explains, “I think that the coolest thing about songwriting is it’s kind of like a picture. You can look at a picture and see yourself smiling, and it can be a happy song, but only you can see or pick up on the pain in your eye. It’s not just like a memory, where the meaning can change over time, it’s more like an actual screenshot of a moment that’s frozen in time.” 

—

PLEASER: You went to college for poetry. Does that affect your writing process or how you express yourself in your songs, having that approach of the writing before the music? 

Anna Shoemaker (AS): Yeah I mean, I think that for me I've just always needed that outlet of like creative writing. Since I was young I’ve just always kind of been keeping diaries or creative writing and [that] eventually turned into lyrics. Like senior year in college, I was just turning in songs as my like final projects to my teachers and they were like this isn't really a poem but that's like fine, because it seems that you worked on this, you know. So I think it just helped in the sense that, like it was like developing a practice.

So when you studied poetry, did you think that you were going to end up doing music and performing, or at one point did you mainly want to have a career in writing? 

AS: I always wanted to do music, but I really wanted to get my degree, and I really wanted to go to college. I like reading and writing and stuff like that and I mean there were obviously times when I wanted to drop out because I knew what I wanted to do but, like, I think, ultimately, I learned a lot of like common sense and and stuff like that, but I always knew I wanted to be a musician for sure.

Photo: Josefine Cardoni

As you mentioned, you're always writing in diaries; even that is like a snapshot in time of how you felt at that moment. You’re able to capture the way you were feeling at a point of time and sit with that.

AS: Yeah I like to think of my album as just like a diary over the past two years. It's kind of like how it's turned out to be. I didn't really plan to write an album, it just kind of – I have all the songs and I was like okay – this is like my life, you know.

So do you feel like through your album, listeners can kind of see a snapshot of your life?

AS: 100%.

Super cool. I saw in your NYLON profile that fans will DM you because your songs are relatable to them while going through their own breakups. Does that help you feel connected to your fans or have you got any crazy or weird DMs? Not to expose people's personal info. 

AS: No, I mean like, people will tell me about the terrible people that they date and I'm like, “You got this girl.” I just think it's really important to build a community and if people feel like they can relate to my music, that means so much to me. If I can help, that helps me, so I want to help them, you know. Knowing that someone relates to my song makes me feel so much better, so, if I can help them in any way, I'd love to.

When these songs go out, does it feel healing or like a release, or what's the main feeling that you have when the songs go out?

AS: For me it's not as much about the release of the song, it's more about writing the song itself. The day I write the song is really when the release happens. Once it gets to the point where I release the song, it's not as much like that. When I put up this song next week I'm really excited but it's more just because I’m excited to share it. I've kind of already gone through the emotions. Now it’s everyone else's song, you know, like anyone can make it what they want.

Sometimes on TikTok, not even in regards to your music specifically, but with trending songs people are like “You're interpreting the song wrong!” or “This is not what the artists meant!” Do you get that way with your music, where you want people to experience it the way that you felt it? Or do you like that everyone can come to it with their own experiences?

AS: I love that everyone can come to it with their own experiences, but something I don't like is when guys think that my songs are about them. Like when the wrong guys are like, “Oh she wrote this song about me,” it's like no, you're disgusting.

Do exes ever contact you being like, “Hey, why did you write this about me?!”

AS: No, but like, I've heard of a guy I dated saying like, “Oh, she wrote that song about me,” and like it just wasn't and I barely dated him and I was like, this is so, you are so lame.

It's like clout chasing.

AS: And it's weird because it's not even clout, it's just like, you know, it's just weird.

You have like a bit of a Taylor Swift moment with it. But we all need our Taylor Swift moments. 

AS: Oh yeah, for sure. 

Is there a track on the new album that you're most excited for? 

AS: All of them, but I will say I'm most excited for “Everything is Fine” and then there's another track too [that I don't even know] if we have really decided on the name yet, but it's a really good one.

Are there any songs coming out where you feel the meanings have changed? I know you said when you write them the feelings are released there, but do you feel like you ever pull a new meaning from a song when you reflect on it later?

AS: Yeah I mean it's not necessarily a new meaning, it's more like uncovering how I was really feeling. Like, there's one song on the album called “What Do I Do,” where I was really upset and I was going through a breakup, and I think I look back on that and I’m like, 'Actually [that] sadness was showing me that I was on the right path,' you know what I mean. It wasn't like, ‘Oh I shouldn't be leaving this relationship,’ it was more like, ‘Oh if you're so sad all the time, you should be leaving this relationship.’ It's kind of just like uncovering your actualized emotions versus romanticized shit.

That can be difficult to come to terms with when you're thinking about your past experiences and being like, ‘Hey that was really hurtful and it was hurtful the whole time.’ How do you support yourself when you're reflecting on those emotions?

AS: I went to therapy so that was really helpful. I think that that's what taught me to be a lot nicer to myself, because growing up, there was always space held for my emotions, but I always felt like I was just too much all the time. I’ve always been hard on myself for being emotional. So I think finally letting go of that and being easier on myself has been really helpful.

 —

Shoemaker’s growth is apparent on her new album, which is more reassuring than self-critical. While her first EP was titled Everything is Embarrassing, her upcoming album is titled Everything is Fine (I’m Only on Fire). On this shift, Shoemaker explains, “It’s just so me. I’m very emotional, I’m very exaggerated. In your early twenties, everything is embarrassing. I think more on my album is a lot of self-soothing. It’s like, ‘Everything is fine. Relax.’” 

As for why she’s only on fire? Because it doesn’t matter. While everything may not always be fine, Shoemaker leaves us with one final piece of advice: “Fake it till you make it.”

 Stream Shoemaker’s new single “Everything is Fine” out now on all streaming platforms and stay tuned for her debut album Everything is Fine (I’m Only on Fire), set to be released on March 2.