So, You *Aren't* Listening to Jackie Hayes's Debut Album, Over & Over, Over and Over Again?

Photos, Graphics & Interview/words by Allyson J.L. Clayton

Music – for me and for a lot of people that I know – is a whole body, mind and soul experience. I listen to songs that make me feel nauseous-in-a-good-way, out-of-body-floating-on-top-of-the-world, and drunk-with-excitement, and some that even have the power to cure that super deep ache of anxiety that makes me feel existentially untethered. Jackie Hayes’ music is no different. 

Jackie Hayes released her first full-length album, Over and Over, at the end of October last year and I have taken my time getting to know the music through Jackie’s eyes. I’ve listened to the tracks over and over again in my car, on my TV, through my headphones, and live at Hayes’ shows. Over & Over is an incredibly special project with some of the most original and auditorily interesting songs I have had the privilege of listening to. 

Hayes’ music is the sickest mix of 80s post-punk and 90s/2000’s indie-grunge noise, with slightly brighter tones but the same amount of angst and heartbreak in the lyrics. 

Sitting in the oddly huge green room that emitted abandoned-warehouse-vibes at the Glass House in Pomona, CA, last October, Hayes told me that “this album is a stream of consciousness.” 

“I wrote down everything I was thinking at the time. I was having lots of anxious thoughts,” Hayes said.

Anxiety is a very clear thread that ties a lot of the songs on this album together. Hints of that anxiety also beg to be danced out through the punchy drums (shout out to drum aficionado Tony Mest), with penetrating bass lines and gritty distorted guitar parts that woven into each song. 

In 2022 alone, I have seen Hayes open for amazing acts like Briston Maroney, The Regrettes, The Vacations and Wallice – each time she takes over the stage with such high-energy and a zest for performing that feels so cathartic. 

Months after our encounter in California, Hayes spoke to Pleaser in Columbus, Ohio on a  contradictingly humid and slightly chilly August night. Hayes was in town opening for The Regrettes at Newport Music Hall, and we sat at the Chipotle down the street from the venue after they had finished sound checking. 

***

PLEASER: So, you’ve been touring for a long time, right? When did you start touring?

Jackie Hayes (J): My first tour was a small run with Chloe Moriondo last year. It was only 3 dates so I would say my first long tour was the Briston Maroney Tour. We did like 3 weeks with them. We were gone for almost a month. 

How do you handle that, being gone for so long?

J: I don’t know, I like it. I like traveling. I feel very lucky to be able to travel because it’s not something I really got to do growing up, so I really try not to take it for granted. Especially thinking back to when I was younger, knowing how much my younger self wanted to go and explore. And to be able to do that now, I’m very thankful. It’s not necessarily being gone that is hard for me, I think it’s hard for me to uphold the routines that I do for myself when I’m spending time at home. Like skincare, haircare, stuff like that. Making sure I’m getting enough sleep, making sure that I’m taking care of myself by not smoking excessively or drinking excessively on tour. It doesn’t work for me.

It’s not sustainable.

J: Yeah, for me, personally. Those are the things I find hard. It can be exhausting but I’m very thankful to do what I’m doing. 

I think there’s room to talk about how hard it can be while also being grateful for the job you get to do. You’re working really hard! 

J: I’m really happy with the people I have traveling with me. That’s so important. People say traveling with someone is how you know you can keep a friendship.

For sure, it’s like living with someone. Traveling the country in such small, confined spaces, has to be very similar. 

J: It is! I have definitely formed stronger friendships because of it. I see me and my team working together for years to come. 

***

Don't go there, it's a big mistake

Saw a deep, dark hole, bottom of the lake

Pace around the room, all I do is think

God, I feel so dumb, it's the same old thing

If you walk right through the door, yeah, then you'll see

I don't wanna stick around, so let's just leave

I've been through this all before a million times

Do you know what any of this really means?

– Jackie Hayes, “Last Second”

Life is constant spiraling, second guessing yourself and being terrified you won’t ever get where you want to be. It can be so all-consuming, inducing such a tightness in your chest that only music can soothe.

Hayes and I talk at length about human behavior, feeling too sensitive and anxious for this world and how hard it can be to stay afloat when it feels like you’re falling into the same mind-trap over and over. 

*** 

What kind of feeling do you hope your music gives to other people?

J: I guess it’s not even necessarily a feeling, it’s just more like in terms of live music. I hope people come to the show and have a fun, positive experience. That’s all I care about. I think it’s cool if art evokes any kind of feeling, but I think it’s all open to interpretation. 

PLEASER: I think having fun is the best feeling to want instill in people! Who are some of your favorite musicians making music right now?

J: Right now? I always say this but I like The Strokes. 

PLEASER: Who doesn’t, right? 

Note: I, Allyson, have never really listened to The Strokes and was trying to sound cool and I would like to apologize for that in advance. 

J: I’ve been listening to a lot of Fiona Apple… for newer people, I really like this band Feeble Little Horse. I like Kenny Hoopla. I like Inner Wave, they’re a band from Madison. My friend is in the band and she’s really, really good. Briston Maroney, I respect him a lot. 

Ah, Briston Maroney. I do love his music. Just a little. 

J: I just saw Turnstile, that performance was incredible. I really like the the new Steve Lacy album.

Gemini Rights! Yes. Who was your first concert?

J: Pierce the Veil. 

PLEASER: Oh that’s cool. Mine was All American Rejects. 

J: Okay, technically it was the American Idol concert but I’m not counting that, I’m counting the first concert I wanted to go to which was Pierce The Veil with Sleeping with Sirens. Recently, Kellin Quinn shared one of my songs! “Material.” It’s kinda crazy he even listened to the song. 

***
Standing behind the merch table after Hayes’ set at The Fonda in Los Angeles opening for The Vacations, we commiserate about the significance of the venue and the rich music history of Los Angeles while fans come up to tell Hayes how much they loved her set, bouncing with eagerness and longing for connection. I know the feeling so intimately. 

Self-describing her specific genre of music as “caffeinated” and “very high energy,” Hayes also has an intuitive sense for the slower and more emotional ballads. Beautifully mixed in collaboration with Henry Stoehr from Slow Pulp and Billy Lemos, the transitions on Over and Over tell a story of their own. The last transition from ‘Got To Hurt’ to ‘Hard to Believe” has an especially distinctive  fade out that is forlorn and a little defeated, setting listeners up perfectly to relish in the heartache that is the final track. 

Hayes masters the use of her vocal range, reaching into the pit of her stomach and pulling out all of the lingering hurt that festers. In “Hard To Believe,” Hayes sings,

[Head in a cloud

I watch myself sink further down

In plain sight

I guess I'll play along

Surrounded, it happens all the time

//

But now I finally see what's going on

Oh no, you chew me up, you wear me out

Back then, it swallowed me, I still can't leave

But now I finally see what's going on]

Teeth gritted, brow furrowed, letting the haunting vocals really gnaw on me, I want to scream and cry into my pillow until I fall asleep. Listen with caution!!

***

When did you start playing music?

J: I started playing when I was young, like, middle school. We had an emo band called Heartless Outcasts. 

Oh my god. 

J: We had two tumblr pages, a facebook page and a merch design before we even started our first practice. It was really funny. We never met up, actually. 

***

Zaira, Jackie’s tour manager, chimes in to laugh and it makes me think back to my middle school emo days and, even then, I was more content supporting my friends at their gigs than with trying to be on stage. Once a fangirl, always a fan girl.

Don't look back 'cause it won't fix anything

I second guessed every word that I wanted to say

You said I attract those things that caused me pain

Ooh, it's a trap and I was just standing in the way.

–Jackie Hayes, “August”

Delirious and sleep deprived on the set for Jackie’s “Focus” music video back in August, we took a break from talking about anxiety and all the ways it seeps into every aspect of our lives and talked about the more important things like fashion and astrology. 

***

House on fire question: your pets, your friends your family. They’re safe, but your house is on fire. What three things do you grab?

J: I would grab my leather jacket that I got in London in 2019. I would probably grab my purple guitar that I got when I was seventeen. We got it off craigslist. We went to this man’s house somewhere in the suburbs and he just had, like, 30 guitars in his basement. It’s a 1998 midnight blue stratocaster. Rusted to all hell on the inside, but it has amazing tone. The last thing I would bring… maybe this new pair of shoes I got because I saved up for them for a long time. 

Where are they from?

J: They’re Eytys. It’s a swedish brand. Robert Pattison actually wears these shoes in his GQ shoot. I literally waited for like a year for these to be on sale. These are forever shoes. 

I love a good chunky platform. I feel like we’re vibing on the same frequency right now. 

Okay, last question, what is your zodiac sign and do you relate to it?

J: I am a Leo Sun, Scorpio Moon, and a Sagittarius Rising. 

Ooh, that’s a fun combo. 

J: What that says about me? I think it’s pretty intense, I think it’s pretty conflicting. 

***

Intense and conflicting, angsty and anxious, high energy and caffeine. Those are all the things that make up Jackie Hayes and her music. 

If you haven’t streamed Over & Over yet, you are severely missing out! Jackie Hayes is one to watch and I feel an immense privilege in getting to spend most of 2022 with her and her friends. <3